At its heart, this workshop is all about exploring the question

How can we learn to relate to our children when so much of the caregiving we see is coercive in nature? We see adults trying to control children (“share your toys”, “eat your dinner so you can have dessert”) and their feelings (“don’t cry,” “say you’re sorry,” “you’re not hurt”). This doesn't always feel good, but without knowing what else to do we’re left trying to control children ourselves, or feeling collapsed and unsure of what else to do.

We will discuss what coercive parenting looks like, how it impacts us and our children and explore what it means to parent with respect.

This workshop is for you if…

… you are a parent or caregiver who wants to relate to your child at every age (or you are planning on having children in your life)

…you would like to:

• Stay calm amidst meltdowns and big feelings

• Let your children get things wrong without intervening

• Say no or set a boundary calmly without anger or yelling

…and yet, you feel like parenting advice is letting you down.

It feels like there’s so many things you’re supposed to do differently, phrases to say or not say. You also hear clichés like “take care of yourself first,” or “ground” or “know that you’re doing a great job.” This sounds nice, but it’s not helping you show up when things get tough and you have big feelings of your own.

…you feel unsupported, exhausted and brittle with the need to get this parenting thing right.

• Your own emotions flare up — and somehow always get in the way at the exact moments when you most want to show up for your children

• You have a hard time trusting yourself — how you “should” parent feels at odds with all your automatic responses

• It seems no one around you approaches parenting this way — so you can be confused, question yourself and feel alone when it feels like it’s not working

…you don’t want to rely on rewards and punishments to control childrens’ behavior. This workshop will be especially valuable if your caregivers consistently used rewards and punishments to control your behavior when you were a child.

Specifically, in this 60 minute workshop, we'll cover...

• The core reason it’s so hard to relate to your children in a genuine way (and what you can do about it)

• The three steps to relating to yourself so you can connect with your children (including what to do with emotions instead of bottling them up or blowing up)

• What you need to show up with compassion and spaciousness (even amidst your most challenging dynamics with your children)
  

What people are saying...

"Cara presents this tender topic in a workshop that provides a framework and validating space to explore our own emotions that may come up when raising or interacting with children of all ages. This is the perfect starting point for anyone who wants to be around children in a way that they haven't experienced or witnessed in their own life, or who wants to explore it further after learning that it is possible."

— Julia O., mother

"Sometimes being a parent feels like there are a million balls being thrown at me at the same time and I am trying to just dodge those balls and survive instead of figuring out a way to slow down in the moment and give myself and my kids what they/I really need in the present. This workshop introduced some tools for me to practice so that I am not just avoiding meltdowns and also reminded me yet again that I have to show myself compassion and process my own feelings in a situation before I can successfully give my children what they need."

— Hillary, mom of two

"Relating to examples of other parents' challenging experiences helps create self-empathy. This workshop is perfect for anyone wanting to evolve as a parent and build capacity for navigating tough moments in a connective way."

— Courtney T., foster mom

What does the workshop look like?

I will share concepts and specific examples as well as a framework for you to try on your own time. There will be opportunities to share and to ask me questions. This workshop will be recorded and shared with you to reference afterwards.

In addition to valuable content, I will spend the last couple minutes sharing info on my 1:1 coaching program for folks who want to take this work further.

How to prepare

Set yourself up to get the most from the experience:

• Find a quiet space all to yourself

• Bring pen and paper

• Put your phone on silent. Give yourself the gift of being present in the virtual room during the workshop.